We ran across the deck, then dived down the stairs. As I was in the rear, I had a soft landing — on Fred and Sam. I thanked them for their thoughtfulness. In return, they both punched me in the arm. It seemed a fair trade.

We made our way toward the rear of the ship, keeping a lookout for pirates. Man, it reeked down there: sweat combined with fishy seawater combined with rotting food combined with ten other smells, odors, and aromas.

It was like a Smell Theme Park, and we had an all-day pass.