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Napoleon

Full name:

Napoleon Bonaparte.

Time:

Born 1769 — Died 1821.

Place:

France. And Italy. And Spain. Uh... and Austria. And most of the rest of Europe. They didn't call him Emperor for nothing, you know.

Also known as:

Boney, Rabullione (the "meddler"), Le Petit Caporal (the little corporal).

But never call him:

Shortstuff, Tiny, My Little Guy, Strawberry Shortcake.

Claim to fame:

Conquered most of what is now the European Union, and became emperor.

Likely to say:

"I've only been conquering for 12 hours today so far. I can easily go another 6!"

Unlikely to say:

"I'm sleepy."

Complex named after Napoleon:

A "Napoleon complex" refers to someone who is short of stature, but big on ego.

Complex not named after Napoleon:

Apartment complex.

Most likely place for his hands to be:

At the ends of his arms, pointing to various lands he'd conquered.

Least likely place for his hands to be:

Hidden in his jacket, like in many famous paintings of him. That was just a popular painting pose at the time. He did not have ulcers, itchy skin, or a deformed hand.

Who would play Napoleon in a movie?

Jon Stewart. He's the right height, and he thinks fast on his feet.

Who would not play Napoleon in a movie?

The guy from that "Napoleon Dynamite" movie.

Favorite ice cream:

Skip the ice cream. He'll have the pastry that sports his name: the Napoleon!