R. left this Message at 4:16 P.M. on 11/16/17
"Namaste" — hello! — from eighth-century India! I just helped my friend Karna compete in a swayamvara, or marriage contest, to marry a princess. Now, I'm no poet, but I must say that the princess was more beautiful than a bowl of chips and salsa, with a side of nacho cheese. (See, I told you I wasn't a poet.) It was very exciting! In the chariot race, I got Karna's horse to run faster by promising it a year's supply of oats, hay, and apples, and we won! On the down side, Karna would have won the archery contest if he hadn't burped at the exact wrong moment. For the tie-breaker, Karna was challenged to a chess match, and he said that I should compete for him. Unfortunately, I know nothing about chess, so I proposed a battle in the manner of the Ancients: a staring contest! And guess what: I won! Yay for me! So, it all worked out. After Karna married the princess, we all rode on an elephant — which was great, except for the elephant's peanutty-smelling breath. Catch you later!